[tweetability]“When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” - Catherine Gilbert Murdock[/tweetability]

I know what you’re thinking - “Well, DUH!”

But yet it is amazing how many people speak to me about something not happening in their lives, or someone not behaving in a way that was expected, just for them to say to me, that they haven’t actually said anything out loud to anyone to instigate change.

I honestly could go on about this for ages as I think it filters into so many aspects of our lives - I believe one of our biggest sins as people is we do not talk enough. We have so many taboos and so much is un-PC that true feelings are never shared and explored and instead we harbour ill feelings and regrets for the foreseeable future.

I’ve had friends say to me that they don’t like that their partner does certain things, or they wish that they would do something but don’t. But when I ask them if they have simply said that to them, thus solving the issue, they always say no. How is anyone supposed to know what to do? We don’t have crystal balls letting us know your inner workings. We are all different, we were raised different and function differently. It’s not fair to hold it against someone when they don’t act like you want - I say this as someone who learnt this lesson the hard way. I expected so much of previous partners, and it took me a long time to realise how much so and how unfair it was, when all I should have done was be to be open about how I was feeling.

Another side is I am often told I am crude - now, don’t get me wrong, I like a brash joke as much as the next, but that’s not what I am referencing, I am talking about the fact I am willing to talk to anyone about any topic, and to any depth.

Sex - we all have it
Periods - We all know plenty of women dealing with it
Bodily functions - we all crap, people!
Family dramas, relationship issues, disabilities, race, religion, gender - the list goes on.

We exacerbate problems when we don’t talk about them. If we don’t understand something, but not entering into a dialogue about it we are shutting ourselves off from ever fully possessing the knowledge to inform our decisions and the way we act.

There is also the idea of staying silent when injustice is present. Now, this is a big topic that could span pages and pages, but I am a firm believer in speaking up. We much show courage with our voices; by being brave with ours, we encourage others to be so with theirs.

[tweetability]“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.” ~ MLK, Jr.[/tweetability]

These are all things that effect each and everyone of us every day - yet so much of it we cringe and turn away from talking about. WHY? It is only through talking do we learn and grow as people, as well as understanding each other and the world around us.

Now it isn’t always as cut-and-dry as we would like, there are often other circumstances that would need us to tread carefully with tact, but tread we must. It is only through speaking out and speaking up are our opinions and wants heard. When I struggle to talk about something, I tend to read about it, to learn and help formulate my feelings and thoughts into something more concise for communicating.

[tweetability]“This is slavery, not to speak one’s thought.” - Euripides, The Phoenician Women[/tweetability]

From speaking out for someone who’s voice is not as strong as yours to speaking about that tough subject with someone suffering, to talk, to use our voices and to communicate is the first step towards a solution and the end result - change.

What are you not talking about?

What conversation are you avoiding having?

What injustice are you not speaking out for?

Written by Neil Thornton
London-based coffee drinker. Editor by day, blogger by whatever time he finds spare.